You’re letting your daughter wear that?!

“You’re letting your daughter wear that?!” The tone of her voice inferred many, many more question marks and exclamation points.


I’d showed an acquaintance a picture of Thing 1 in her homecoming dress and received that particular comment. It is a beautiful creation, floor-length with bead and lace applique over the bodice and shoulders. There were no bits or body parts hanging out, no straps showing or peek-a-boo features. Thing 1 had picked the dress and paid for half of it, our requirement to make sure she picks something we all agree on and is appropriate. She was beautiful in the dress. You decide:


(I swear, my children aren’t headless…)

So when this other mother made her comment, my inner MamaBear heckled. In true in-your-face fashion, I asked (as calmly as possible) what she thought was wrong with the dress. “It just seems a bit revealing and over the top.” (insert snide smile before she turned to leave)


At first, I was angry. The dress is nowhere near immodest OR revealing (in my opinion), unless you require all girls to wear turtlenecks. Then it made me think back to the comment the same lady made about my nose ring. It’s as if she likes picking at trivial, physical matters.


And it’s not as if I haven’t stuck my foot in my mouth. I do…often. But I hope anyone who reads this remembers that Jesus didn’t hang out exclusively with the perfectly dressed. If you’re passionate about something, I get it! But what I chose to wear or allow my kid to wear doesn’t affect our salvation. And shaming another Christian into a corner isn’t the answer either.


It’s a dress. Move on and let go.



P.S. I’ve already had the “stumbling block” verse thrown at my head for said nose ring. But if it makes you feel better, have at it.


About sarahb5149

When tasked with how to describe myself, I get quiet, leading people to believe that I am trying to come up with something deep and meaningful. In fact, I am trying to decide which to display without confusing them. I'm a Christian. And that doesn't mean that I simply say it - I love the Lord and have figured out over the years that He knows what He's doing, even when I am stomping my feet or looking at Him like I have no clue what is going on (*hint* it happens more than I'd care to admit). Writing has been a passion of mine since I was a wee lil' thing; I kept my first poem in all of it's stammering, unevenness. Wife and mom, daughter and sister, aunt and Sunday School teacher, I adore the roles that God has given me. A bit of a sci-fi nerd, geek and self proclaimed dork, there isn't much that I won't try at least once...unless it involves mayonnaise because that stuff is just gross. View all posts by sarahb5149

6 responses to “You’re letting your daughter wear that?!

  • Deanna Fugett

    Sarah, that dress is gorgeous! There is nothing revealing about it and it is perfect for a school dance. I am so sorry this person hurt you yet again. Some people love thinking they’re superior to others. What they don’t realize is that their high moral snootiness is actually hurting their witness and making it HARDER for those around them to see Christ.
    Ugh. I shudder, for I used to be one of those people. Thank God I’ve seen the light. I hope and pray this lady sees the error of her self righteous ways.
    I love you, and your ring ring wearing self, Miss Sarah. Never change.

  • C.Hearn

    First, Love what Deanna Fugett said. I second it. Plus saved me a lot of typing. (Ha)
    Second, I love Thing 1. She makes me smile in EVERYTHING she wears. She is a smart cookie with GREAT parents.
    Third, but not least, thank you. As Pastor Jim says “for being real”.
    Love you Sister

  • Jebraun Clifford

    Ahhh, legalism at it’s finest. I literally once had someone disqualify me for leadership because I drove over the speed limit, lol. But, if I’m honest, I can fall for it too. It’s sooo easy to criticize someone’s choices when I can set the bar high enough for me to reach it (I’m never going to wear this… I’m never going to go there… I’m never going to drink that…) and then judge another person for doing those things I’ve deemed ‘unholy.’

    I thank God for the persistent lesson He’s teaching me that I’m to please Him and Him alone. Freedom in Christ is a beautiful privilege. Praying that your friend will find it 🙂

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