A Spoiler Free Recounting of Waiting for Star Wars: The Force Awakens
In a galaxy far, far away, I pulled into the parking lot of the local movie theater and was told by the security guard to move along.
“No one is allowed on the property until 9 a.m. unless you’re an employee. And you’re not an employee.” She’d obviously said this more than a few times and had lost all sense of humor sometime earlier in the morning. “You can go park across the street with the others.”
I followed her outstretched finger with my eyes to the grocery store across the street. Huddled in various forms of jackets and blankets was a group of ten or so guys. Only a couple looked like they were doing the same thing I was doing – saving a spot for family to join later. The others? Mmmm…I knew I’d hear more than one conversation about JarJar Binks later.
“Aw great. I’m the only chick. Thank you and Merry Christmas!” At least I got her to crack a smile.
Dutifully, I parked across the street, a safe distance from the guys who already looked like they were jockeying for line position. I shot my hubs a text letting him know the outlook of the morning: cloudy with a chance of geek-fueled testosterone.
Back on the theater property, employees strung up chrome line barricades, supplemented with ropes. The security guard strolled back and forth, leaning towards cars that stopped, pointing in my direction. Oddly enough, I was the last of the grocery store die-hards.
Ten minutes ‘til nine, the guys were at a boiling point. It had started drizzling and I was toasty in my car, listening to their debate through the windows.
“We should just go over now. They can’t kick us out.”
“It’s private property. They can kick you out.” (later learned this was a dad saving spots for his family)
“We’ll just storm the place!”
Star Wars Dad and I simultaneously shook our heads at the bearded man, clad in his vintage t-shirt.
Five more minutes and it was just too much. The posse moved across the street to the sidewalk of the theater. I pulled my car forward, so I could see it once I was in line. To the left, a majority of the guys were lined up, inching towards the theater driveway. To the right, the Star Wars Dad and the other normal guy. Guess where I headed?
I stood back while the pack was sorted into a variety of fourteen (yes, 14!) different lines. I was the lone female in line until another young lady showed up an hour or so later.
She got into a heated debate with a different bearded guy about the merits of the casting of Natalie Portman. I popped in my earbuds because I really didn’t want to hear the impending JarJar Binks vortex. Busy crocheting and listening to music, I didn’t really pay much attention until she laughed (a little to close to my ear for comfort) and said, “I don’t remember much about the original movies in theaters because Return of the Jedi came out when I was like four, or something.”
I’ll post up my review of the movie soon. I should go see it again, as I ended up quite sick during and for the subsequent weekend (still battling it!).
Until then, may you enjoy cute chicks and BB8: